Twisted Maladaptations.


I’ve been pondering the intricacies of bread. It is not yet conclusive as to why we have it almost every day. I have a friend who gave up bread for a few months! Bloody amazing isn’t it? Or perhaps just a slice twisted. I have however learned that our affiliation for sweet food is maladaptive; I consider my affiliation rather sick and twisted.

I am a cake decorator, who foolishly assumed that being surrounded in a bakery crammed of warm French pastries, snow-covered mince pies and delectable cakes would cure my sickness. It didn’t. I am the nibbler, the one that sneaks away with a few pieces and then muses over my next drug of choice.

Isn’t it normal then how we have a taste for sweet breads? Or is this a half-feigned plea at excusing our twisted tastes? Or mine. Many reckon bread is easy, it’s one of those easy to make little inventions, nothing difficult to rustle up as it is to consume half the loaf; I disagree. It takes a little bit of precision, a little bit of something different and a little bit more time, but shouldn’t it? One of the world’s oldest food is still thriving, so why then is it so underestimated? There are far too many recipes screaming of their speedy methods and miniscule ingredients.

I enjoy bread, perhaps (honestly) an inkling less than something wonderfully sweet but it’s a close second. Nevertheless, I love subtly sweet bread. Sprinkled in golden sugar that we tear and not-share mercilessly. Bread has been cheaper and easier to procure than sweet food; sweet food was scarce and therefore adaptive, but now it lies in the reaches of all human finger-lickers, every crevice in a restaurant and in that little drawer at the dentist. We’re all a little bit twisted, really. However because sweet food is now so readily available, our taste has become maladaptive.

However, I like twisted.

Tightly twisted
Glazed and sugared
Glazed and sugared

Sometimes bread can shock you, particularly when its a risky piece.


My brother absolutely loves this bread, his sweet tooth is lethal however, nothing like my ordinarily twisted one- his is beyond. It’s not sweet, its only subtly sweet, a sweetness you can determine yourself with your preferred quantity of sprinkling.

This is my beautifully crafted, wonderfully twisted masterpiece, it tastes lovely, soft and somewhat sweet.


Recipe coming soon.

25 thoughts on “Twisted Maladaptations.

  1. I’ve always wanted to be able to make my own bread, so I think it’s great that you have that skill. You’re quite the little baker!


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